Sometimes we have no clue as to where to start from, just like I feel when I start writing about this very topic “survival”. One hard to understand notion for me is what am I writing about??? Survival of my being?? Or survival of my soul??? But its quite easy to understand that in both the cases It is about my survival.
Life is a variable thing. It varies from person to person and its definition varies from person to person as well, yet we tend to compare our lives with every single being we meet on our way. The so called emotions we feel are somehow generated by ourselves, Love, hatred, possessiveness, envy, and all similar kinds. And this is what drives us into competing, competing for our very survival, for our very being. This is what forces us to define our priorities to enable for us a better chance of survival.
If some day we start being conscious of the emotions we feel towards the people around us, we’ll realize that the picture of our life had always been filled with relationships and attachments, yet the saddening fact is that we have to travel the path of our life by ourselves. None accompanies us till the end, not even our own body. If later is considered a universal law of life, then is the former an illusion to our soul??? If so then does the most important factor in our life becomes non-existent????
Going through endless queries cropping in my mind, one thing I surely realized. Our life is a calculated picture of our expectations. Expectations we have from people, expectations we have from us, expectations people have from us. We day dream by clouding our mind with endless expectations and then thrive to fulfill them in the so called real life. We expect people around us to pamper us, prioritize us, help us, stand by our side and so many similar expectations we keep from people. From these expectations we build a dream world around us that is perfect and amiable in every sense. And depending upon how far they’re met, we feel emotions of love, hatred, success, happiness or sadness.
We expect from ourselves as well, but often do we fail to live unto our own expectations and thus we experience feelings of guilt, regret or pride & confidence in opposite cases. However I try to understand “Survival”, I end up onto “Expectations”.
I once happened to read Charles dickens novel “great expectations”. So remarkably does he carve the expectations that paint the picture of our life, Drives us beyond our abilities as if life is all about expectations and that survival is just a quest of meeting the same.
So if expectations are self generated, so are the emotions and emotional turmoil without which our life doesn’t seem to exist. It somehow concludes to me that emotions are as well nothing but a self generated illusion. We expect endlessly, every minute, every second, from every person that cross our path and we built our whole life on what we get out of these expectations. But we fail to realize that not everyone is designed to fulfill our expectations and we’re not designed to fulfill everybody’s expectations. And so it is impossible to stay even with everybody on the planet.
A quote I read somewhere “I’m not put on this earth to please you.”... My mind reads this as “I cannot fulfill each of your expectations.” The more I realize this fact, the more I get driven towards minimizing my expectations. And the more I attempt the same, the more I realize that if I can minimize my expectations I can control the emotional turmoil in my life in a better and much organized way. This somehow makes me feel good about my survival coz when you have a good control over your emotional self; you have a life lead in a better and simpler way.